Awkward Mixture's Video Games of 2017: Don't Think I Played Any Games from this Year Either 2

At the conclusion of 2016, I composed two articles (video-games and overall) reflecting on the year. This is the first of three essays concluding 2017, which it will review all the video games Awkward Mixture critiqued this year.

Games That Didn't Earn a Review, Because I didn't Finish Them:
A list of games I tried, abandoned, and never wrote an article about.

I tried Antichamber around release in 2013, but during two sessions I experienced headaches and motion sickness. It's an innovative, enjoyable puzzle game, and I wanted to enjoy it, but I'll can't complete it. It's the only game in this section I'd recommend, specifically for puzzle game lovers.

With all the action adventure games on Awkward Mixture over the past two years, I tried to muscle Grim Fandango into the schedule, but the puzzles defy insanity. Though reviewers may call it one of the greatest adventure games of all time, I couldn't recommend this skeleton of a game, in spite of its lively dialogue.

They Bleed Pixels is one of those super-tough, punishing platformers inspired by Super Meat Boy. With some perseverance the first three levels found themselves bleeding at my feet, but I couldn't find the persistence (or enough bandages) to staunch the wounds opened by a million whirling blades of death.

I gave Plague Inc a shot, but I still wouldn't recommend touching it with a thirty nine and a half foot pole, or being on the same planet as it.

Please, don't set sail in Windward.

Flee the Milky Way to Andromeda to escape Space Run Galaxy.

Only disappointment results from playing Red Solstice when the sun is at the zenith (or any time for that matter).

In Starpoint Gemini 2, the protagonist's father is murdered in the first five minutes. Instead of hunting his killer, the protagonist fulfilled random quests for strangers and listened to Awesome Mix while boarding enemy ships and selling them for scrap.

If I were a Time Traveler, I would Tell my Past Self not to Play these Games:
These are games I completed but would not recommended.

Is there a special place in hell for people who write a story in which a child suffers such abuse they compose stories where their family is brutally murdered? Some reviewers think The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is the Best Outdoor Walking Simulator, but I think it's the Worst Abuse Fantasy.

Dungeon of the Endless is exactly as it sounds, an Incredibly Repetitive Experience. After playing, I realized it was by the same developers as Endless Legends and Endless Space. Having played two of the three, I recognize a trend, and wouldn't risk an adventure in the last.

Have you ever played a mobile game which was cheaply ported to PC? I hadn't until Space Tactics, the Least Developed Space Simulator. If you've even thought about purchasing this game, please stop. Don't give this developer any money.

Talking about money, would you like to spend a couple hundred dollars to win a virtual card game? Then Hearthstone was designed for you. Enjoyable at first, until one encounters a player whose deck is composed of forty cards you've never seen, which are three times more powerful, this game is definitely, the Most Pay to Win.

Like It, but without the consequence of death, Oxenfree is the Least Terrifying Thriller one can imagine. An incredibly powerful being from another dimension, capable of bodily possession, wants to use you and your friends as a portal to enter the world. And you're going to defeat it by walking around all night in beautiful scenery, cracking jokes, and talking about your feelings.

Are there fifty different types of weapons? Maybe. And at least twenty different vehicles to equip them to? Sure! Then why does every mission feel the same as the last, as deadly missiles whistle past in neon lit cities? Because, Brigador is Most Like Dungeon of the Endless, repetitive and without context.

There's a game out there, which requires forty hours investment to win, but some people devote another four hundred to get their full value. Unfortunately, it's a tiresome game, with the Most Grinding Ever. I present: Disgaea.

Games Worth One Playthrough (Unless they Crash):
These games were reasonably enjoyable and are recommended with reservations.

Sequels, like XCOM® 2, are supposed to expand the boundaries of their predecessor. In attempting to develop new ideas and invent more alien races, the developers crafted the Most Unbalanced Tactical Game. Soldiers and Sectoids alike are capable of massive devastation with superhuman abilities. The winner of any engagement, is he who shot first. Extraterrestrials can pounce from inside dead bodies, live humans, or transporters, and kill soldiers with a single shot. It wasn't a gun fight as much as an exchange of tactical nukes, and even though “tactical” might be appended, the combat is anything but. Yet, the final bullet in the magazine was the disappearance of my fifteen hour save file. Recommended instead: XCOM: Enemy Unknown or Xenonauts.

A twist on the classic god in the machine, Pony Island is exactly what its fabulous trailer implies. Play a pony exorcising demons from an arcade machine. In spite of a short run time, its simple, repetitive gameplay, all of which has been implemented better somewhere else, means its the Most Like Being Stuck in An Arcade Machine With the Devil.

Technically, this section of games are worthy of only one play-through, but a proper review of Dishonored demanded completing the game twice; first as a thief, and then as an assassin. In return it earns two awards: Most like a modern Thief/Bioshock Infinite.

Sometimes a single play-through continues until the story ends, and sometimes it's until the last out of the season. The shortest season available in Super Mega Baseball includes sixteen games and a three series playoff. The experience excited no great emotion, no fan nation, and in conclusion, it's Most like an Inferior Backyard Baseball.

As I'm writing this right now (12/7), I haven't written the full review for Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty!, (haven't even finished the game either), but if it weren't for the charmingness of Abe, I'd have stopped awhile ago.

Honorable Mentions:
The games which follow are strongly recommend. Notice, the list is longer than last years but this doesn't mean quality has decreased. In alphabetical order:

Braid is known as an artsy sort of game, but it's also the most thoughtful game I played this year, with a unique and evolving mechanic, merged with the best aesthetic, in a game which is Most Like Mario.

Even though The Fall derives its plot points from popular Science Fiction sources, and is predictable as a result (and requires some insane logic to solve puzzles), it's a dark journey deep into an illogical robotic psyche. It's the Best Rendered Cliche of Robots Overriding their Programming.

I played quite a few adventure games this year: they seem to have accumulated in my backlog. But none were as personal and political as The Last Express, which marries delightful characters to a world on the brink of war, and provides the Best Understanding of the Dangers of Nationalism.

Once abandoned, player often discover the difficulty in returning to an unfinished game. But I'm glad Arstzoka had a vacancy at its border booth, so I could complete Papers, Please. Even in a career as simple as a border agent, one is Most Likely to Be Arrested for Putting a Soccer Poster in their Place of Work.

Total Biscuit tirelessly reviews game, and he recommends some I wouldn't normally consider. Steamworld Heist is totally different from Steamworld Dig (a game I dislike) and Most Like the TV show Firefly.

Sometimes a game boggles the mind, requiring the player to consider deep philosophical questions. The Swapper didn't quite achieve its intention, but the fusion of puzzles and ponderies procured it a position in the Honorable mentions.

Technobabylon wasn't a game I anticipated on this list, so close to Best Game of Awkward Mixture, 2017.  I'm thankful for James Dearden retweet of my articles, a first for me. While it wasn't the best game, it strongly exceeded my expectations, and earned Most like a William Gibson Novel.

Knowing I played it, were you worried I had forgotten Undertale? Maybe hoping it would be the best game of my year? Sorry to worry, or disappoint. While a great game, here's why it didn't make my best game: even though it contained three different ways of playing, and three corresponding endings, I couldn't complete a second playthrough. Considering all the hype it received on release, I have to award it, Most Overrated Good Game.

Game of 2017/2016:

While 2016's Game of the Year was an easy pick, 2017's Best Game of Awkward Mixture was more difficult.  It wasn't until I wrote this article, that I chose the victor. Sure, I played quite a bit even after completing the regular campaign, but it isn't a genre I normally enjoy. There were a number of other games which came close to winning the final spot. But SUPERHOT is a fabulous game, quick, repetitive, but engrossing. It's almost like someone's in my mind, compelling me to keep playing, only pausing to compose a review about its greatness …. Hi [FRIEND_NAME_HERE] you have to check out this game. It's the most innovating shooter I've played in years …. Need to cleanse my system now.  Hyperbolic claims aside, SUPERHOT may not be the most innovative whatever, but it is the best game of Awkward Mixture 2017.

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