Brigador: An Unmemorable Experience

Time to Beat Main Campaign: 5 hours
There are some games, such as Star Tactics, whose design was (and remains) so atrocious, my brain refuses to remember its title, and every time I need to reference it as the worst game I've played in the last two years, I search through my Steam library typing in names like Space Tactics and E.T. the Extraterrestrial. There are other games, like Alien: Isolation which will be continuously referred to as the best game I've written about. Brigador: Up-Armored Edition doesn't fit into either of these categories. In fact, it's difficult to describe it. It isn't so shoddy one wonders what the developers were thinking, yet it still manages to set itself apart from all the other games on Awkward Mixture. To explain it's difference, I need to briefly explain how I write my video game articles. During a normal process, I take notes during the game, scribbling thoughts and ideas onto a nearby scarp of paper. At the same time, I try to take screen shots which will reflect some relevance to the topic of the article. And though acquiring a screenshot on Steam only requires pressing F12, it can be difficult to snap the perfect action shot, while trying to not mess up. Note taking exhibits the same difficulties, ideas can surface in a tense situation, and thoughts not transcribed will be consigned to the abyss. I forget what I thought, (and that I had thoughts).

Unfortunately, upon completing Brigador I was astonished to realize the paper was entirely blank. I searched through the piles on the desk, hoping to locate any missing notes, I had to concede defeat and accept the truth: Completing the main campaign in five hours, and attempting a few freelancing missions, have inspired not a word on a scrap of paper.

So we turn to my memory, that terrifying void, which can't recall what I planed to write two minutes ago, and therefore can't recollect much worthy of retelling upon this screen. Though Brigador exceeded twenty missions (in which the player can access three different Mechs), they were remarkably, tediously similar. Each, maybe, required destroying a certain building, a certain enemy Mech, or a percentage of enemy foes. But the foes fought as futilely as Custer at the Little Bighorn, the scenery seemed to repeat endlessly, and if the Death Star had blown up like the bosses in Brigador, there wouldn't have been an Episode Two (or Five), and we would have been saved the pain of Episode Seven.
Through each missions offered the player three Mechs to choose from, and the choices varied between missions, the purpose of each mission seemed that the options needed to all belong to a similar style of combat. For example, one mission offered nothing but small, scrappy, nimble craft, while the next, served nothing but thunderous, lumbering tanks to choose from. And based on the towns through which these Mech were drive, one would assume the entire planet (galaxy? Universe?) consisted of nothing but seedy cities lined with neon signs advertising casinos, guns, and XXX entertainment or neighborhoods with perfectly manicured lawns and every house an exact replica of the ones next to it. 

As hinted above, the information about the plot (which was probably about a rebellion) is so sparse, one can't be certain whether this was a global or interplanetary affair, nor how many factions participated, or even how many I fought for. I played as more pilots than there are fingers on my hands, but I don't know anything about their biography, couldn't explain their motives, and would fail to recollect any faces to assign to their stories, if I remembered them. 

If one does discover some enjoyment in the bland gameplay of the “story”, Brigador offers plenty more to learn and then forget. Completing missions provides a cash bounty, from someone... and this can be spent to unlock little biographies about enemy soldiers, mysterious organizations, and whatever else I didn't bother to read. It was so unconnected to the gameplay, hidden five menus deep, and not helpful. For instance, once can unlock detailed information about every enemy Mech, but they all did the same amount of damage (none) and died from the same number of attacks (one). And though earning the maximum bounty should have been an incentive to play a certain way, it seemed that no matter how a mission was won, the bounty received was always the same. Maybe this was intended, but each mission ending screen included a payment list of how it'd been earn, and the final result never seemed to change. 
In addition to useless information, the player can also use this cash to unlock an unfathomable variety of pilots, Mechs, primary weapons, secondary weapons, and auxiliary systems, and different maps on which to utilize them. There are so many, it's hard to imagine trying them enough times to develop preferences (especially as it feels as if there are only two types of maps ((close quarters fighting and long distance combat)) and three types of enemies (ones that don't hurt, ones that don't hurt much, and ones that only hurt if they're a dozen of them). If the freelance missions are of no interest, one can always return to the story missions and complete them with the additional Mechs. This would triple the time spent playing a story without any purpose. 

Yet in a strange way I want to reiterate this is not a bad game, and there are people who will find the arcadyness of kill every pixelated foe repeatedly, quite enjoyable. The mechanics are satisfactorily developed, but each level feels like its on the same map with the same foes, with the same objective.

In conclusion, readers might determined, after this article, I recollect more than I'm willing to admit. But it was all that, a recollection, instead of a recitation from the notes normally recorded during a playthrough. And while there is one thing I can be certain of amidst all this uncertainty is, I'd not recommend Brigador unless one is looking for an experience without any memory, in which case may I recommend Lacuna, Inc?

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